#momlife
Holy Hannah. Yes hello, it's Monday! (Actually, it's Tuesday but I wrote this yesterday. Oops.) Tom Brady won the Superbowl and it's raining so I am wearing my favorite red rain boots. So far, it's a good day. But it is only 8:30 in the morning.
For my very first official blog post, I am going to write about something I call momlife. Am I an expert? Heck no! But I know a thing or two. I could probably come up with enough to write a book. The funny thing about motherhood is that experience is the only way you learn anything. You can read a million books on how to sleep train your baby, how to make organic baby food, how to get your child to stop being a bully or how to potty train etc. But truly, you can't really learn a dang thing until you have kids and you are in the thick of the chaos day in and day out for a chunk of time.
That being said... I have been in the thick of motherhood for nine years and doing it for most of the those nine years by myself. And it's funny because as a little girl, I dreamt of being a mom. I was the little blond haired girl who always had a baby doll in her hand, sometimes two, pushing the little pretend stroller and feeding them using those baby bottles that have the milk that disappears inside when you flip it upside down. I couldn't wait to babysit and started as early as I could. Even as a teenager or very young adult, I just prayed to be a mother. I would walk up and down the baby isle at Target, just picturing the day I would get to use those itty bitty onesies. I know... I'm crazy.
But years later, here I am, mother of three, and I am completely wiped out in every way possible. And I love it. There is a lot that no one tells you about when you are still in the dreaming stages and haven't yet become a mother. For instance, no one told me that my five year old, Cruz, would have the weirdest little quirks about him that would later be introduced as sensory sensitivities. I didn't even know that I was a thing. Or that he would have to be in speech for three years because he had a tongue that needed to be "worked out." (Seriously... his tongue wasn't as strong as it should have been so we spent like a year doing these ridiculous tongue workouts so that he could eventually speak real words. Cue the eye roll.) Cruz has nothing but hate for tags in his clothes, socks that have a thick seam, sometimes he has aches and pains that aren't really from anything specific, they are more so just him needing to be held super tight. He destroys anything with a sleeve because his anxiety causes him to constantly chew on his sleeves. And if he doesn't have a sleeve, he will just go for the collar. He doesn't like being on stage but loves being out on a baseball field in front of a crowd. Like I said in the beginning... HOLY HANNAH!!!! Thank goodness these issues are fairly common, especially in boys. But I know when I talk to other moms, we are all just like really???? Life isn't crazy enough????
Then there is the food issues. Aven, my oldest, should not have sugar or she will straight up turn into Satan. Fortunately, she is starting to recognize her reaction to sugar and is becoming more aware of how is makes her feel. But it's still a struggle. Try feeding breakfast to a child who can't and should not have sugar! It's like a science experiment every single day! And I know an allergy to sugar is mild compared to what some families deal with. But still, it's one of those things that just leaves me wondering, how in the world am I going to survive motherhood???
Lola, my youngest, is going through the stage where she can't have any of her food mixing on her plate. Thankfully I still have those baby plates where there is separate spaces for each food. I just laugh at this point. Dinner is my least favorite time of the day because it's always chaos... unless I just feed everyone pizza or macaroni and cheese. God forbid I try to feed them a vegetable or a piece of chicken! You'd think they were being served liver and onions. Like I said, I just laugh. If I don't laugh, I will cry and probably never stop crying.
There is a moment everyday where I think about that little girl all those years ago that prayed to be called mommie. And that is where I save myself daily. It's that mental picture that helps me re-group. Because I can assure you, being told you are hated or the worst mother ever for asking your nine year old to put away her clothes, you want to either cry or if you're like me, you consider sailing away to Bora Bora by yourself and never returning. But then I remember that this is the life I prayed for. God gifted me these three little souls. Maybe he gave me Cruz because he knew I would notice his sensory sensitivities or that I would be the mom that was patient enough to find ways to help him. Maybe he gave me Aven because he knew I would be the mom who would happily search all ends of the earth to find foods without sugar. God knew I could handle these three perfectly chaotic little people. How does he know such a thing? Because he knows me and he has a plan and I willingly listen!
Motherhood is a journey. It's not always a fun one either. Sometimes, it is just plain hard. But I love it. I collapse in my bed every night from pure exhaustion but I love it. So whether you are a new mom, seasoned mom or still a girl in the dreaming stages, let God lead you in your motherhood journey. It really does make a difference. He will give you comfort in those moments where you have locked yourself in the bathroom simply because you need a minute to breathe. He will dry your tears when you are sitting outside a baby's room, listening to them cry it out. He will lead you when you are a single mom and feeling as if your heart really cannot break anymore. Find him and then find the joy in the absolute chaos that is motherhood.
You will survive. I promise.
Xoxo
Jess
For my very first official blog post, I am going to write about something I call momlife. Am I an expert? Heck no! But I know a thing or two. I could probably come up with enough to write a book. The funny thing about motherhood is that experience is the only way you learn anything. You can read a million books on how to sleep train your baby, how to make organic baby food, how to get your child to stop being a bully or how to potty train etc. But truly, you can't really learn a dang thing until you have kids and you are in the thick of the chaos day in and day out for a chunk of time.
That being said... I have been in the thick of motherhood for nine years and doing it for most of the those nine years by myself. And it's funny because as a little girl, I dreamt of being a mom. I was the little blond haired girl who always had a baby doll in her hand, sometimes two, pushing the little pretend stroller and feeding them using those baby bottles that have the milk that disappears inside when you flip it upside down. I couldn't wait to babysit and started as early as I could. Even as a teenager or very young adult, I just prayed to be a mother. I would walk up and down the baby isle at Target, just picturing the day I would get to use those itty bitty onesies. I know... I'm crazy.
But years later, here I am, mother of three, and I am completely wiped out in every way possible. And I love it. There is a lot that no one tells you about when you are still in the dreaming stages and haven't yet become a mother. For instance, no one told me that my five year old, Cruz, would have the weirdest little quirks about him that would later be introduced as sensory sensitivities. I didn't even know that I was a thing. Or that he would have to be in speech for three years because he had a tongue that needed to be "worked out." (Seriously... his tongue wasn't as strong as it should have been so we spent like a year doing these ridiculous tongue workouts so that he could eventually speak real words. Cue the eye roll.) Cruz has nothing but hate for tags in his clothes, socks that have a thick seam, sometimes he has aches and pains that aren't really from anything specific, they are more so just him needing to be held super tight. He destroys anything with a sleeve because his anxiety causes him to constantly chew on his sleeves. And if he doesn't have a sleeve, he will just go for the collar. He doesn't like being on stage but loves being out on a baseball field in front of a crowd. Like I said in the beginning... HOLY HANNAH!!!! Thank goodness these issues are fairly common, especially in boys. But I know when I talk to other moms, we are all just like really???? Life isn't crazy enough????
Then there is the food issues. Aven, my oldest, should not have sugar or she will straight up turn into Satan. Fortunately, she is starting to recognize her reaction to sugar and is becoming more aware of how is makes her feel. But it's still a struggle. Try feeding breakfast to a child who can't and should not have sugar! It's like a science experiment every single day! And I know an allergy to sugar is mild compared to what some families deal with. But still, it's one of those things that just leaves me wondering, how in the world am I going to survive motherhood???
Lola, my youngest, is going through the stage where she can't have any of her food mixing on her plate. Thankfully I still have those baby plates where there is separate spaces for each food. I just laugh at this point. Dinner is my least favorite time of the day because it's always chaos... unless I just feed everyone pizza or macaroni and cheese. God forbid I try to feed them a vegetable or a piece of chicken! You'd think they were being served liver and onions. Like I said, I just laugh. If I don't laugh, I will cry and probably never stop crying.
There is a moment everyday where I think about that little girl all those years ago that prayed to be called mommie. And that is where I save myself daily. It's that mental picture that helps me re-group. Because I can assure you, being told you are hated or the worst mother ever for asking your nine year old to put away her clothes, you want to either cry or if you're like me, you consider sailing away to Bora Bora by yourself and never returning. But then I remember that this is the life I prayed for. God gifted me these three little souls. Maybe he gave me Cruz because he knew I would notice his sensory sensitivities or that I would be the mom that was patient enough to find ways to help him. Maybe he gave me Aven because he knew I would be the mom who would happily search all ends of the earth to find foods without sugar. God knew I could handle these three perfectly chaotic little people. How does he know such a thing? Because he knows me and he has a plan and I willingly listen!
Motherhood is a journey. It's not always a fun one either. Sometimes, it is just plain hard. But I love it. I collapse in my bed every night from pure exhaustion but I love it. So whether you are a new mom, seasoned mom or still a girl in the dreaming stages, let God lead you in your motherhood journey. It really does make a difference. He will give you comfort in those moments where you have locked yourself in the bathroom simply because you need a minute to breathe. He will dry your tears when you are sitting outside a baby's room, listening to them cry it out. He will lead you when you are a single mom and feeling as if your heart really cannot break anymore. Find him and then find the joy in the absolute chaos that is motherhood.
You will survive. I promise.
Xoxo
Jess
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