Just keep swimming

Happy Monday! (Said no one ever.)

I saw this quote this morning and it just felt like one of those things that was meant just for me. Don't you just love when that happens?

Lately I have felt like a lot of rearranging is going on in my life. And I am definitely doing some of it on my own, realizing that change is good and that some things have to either come to an end or just shift a little so that better things can come into the picture. I'm realizing that I have a tendency to give energy to things and people that don't always deserve it. (And by realize, I mean that in therapy, my beloved therapist has finally gotten me to see that I do in fact give a lot to people who in return, suck the life right out of me.) I love in a big way and I will never change that. But I'm having to learn that timing is everything and that not everything is meant to last forever. Sometimes God brings you what you need for a very specific time in your life, but not everyone is meant to stay. That can be hard to realize. And sometimes, relationships just have to change or evolve into something a little different than what had envisioned. But like I said before, changing and rearranging has to take place so that new things, better things, can come along. These times in our lives though, can leave us feeling misplaced, lonely, scattered... or maybe that's just me. 

I would say a big rearrangement started for me back in September, before our accident. And it's been a complete cluster ever since. This cluster got even more confusing in the beginning of January. And although I feel like things are kind of settling down, that doesn't mean the waves haven't stopped rolling in. Maybe it's how I am perceiving things that has changed. I shared my word for the new year, "Willingness"... I often pray about my willingness to change and shift as the Lord sees necessary. Am I finally just learning to not fight what He has planned for me? Is it just becoming easier to ride the waves, knowing and believing that there is a beautiful sunrise waiting for me on the other side? 

I used to think of my life as this little town down in "Tornado Alley" that just got hit constantly by F5 tornadoes. You know, the catastrophic ones that would leave behind a trail of destruction and devastation? Yup... you get the idea! But I think when I started to really put my faith in God, like really started to trust Him, His timing and His plans, I feel like I started viewing my life differently. Now I think of my life more as an island in Hawaii, and I'm surfing the waves, in a super cute Roxy swimsuit. And some waves are bigger than others, some knock me around a little more, some are super easy. But all in all, it's a gorgeous view and I'm happy to just be surfing. 

Do you ever sense that life is a little quieter? I've kinda felt that way this past few weeks. Life is crazy chaotic, don't get me wrong. But it just seems like God really is rearranging things in a way that sets me up for new adventures and new callings. I'm enjoying the moments of stillness and quiet at the end of the day. I guess what I am trying to say is that I am feeling a real sense a peace, even though I am being pulled in a million directions, to a handful of different sports practices, school events and board meetings. So when I saw the quote from above this morning, I just felt so happy. It just made it so clear to me that my Savior has plans for me. He loves me and He sees my divine potential. He is shaping my life so that great things can grow and take place. His love and His grace are written all over the place. But you have to learn to enjoy the silence and the stillness in order to see the love and the grace. 

Life is messy. Life is complicated. Life can be downright hard. But like sweet little Dory says in Finding Nemo, "Just keep swimming!" It's either you swim or you sink. And my fear of sharks and deep water definitely keep me swimming. 

Try and find the peace. Find the stillness. Go stand outside in the rain for a few minutes. Go for a run in it! Stare at a rainbow the next time you get a chance, take a few minutes to just look around at the world that has been created for us. This is all a gift for us to enjoy. Our time here on Earth is not meant to be a complete disaster. Will tough times come? Of course they will. And maybe your life right now looks like "Tornado Alley." But you are loved and you are treasured. Like I always say, find the blessings in the storm. 

Xoxo

Jess