None were with him.

A couple weeks ago, I was browsing through some conference talks and stumbled upon one that I hadn't heard before. It was a talk by Jeffrey R. Holland from April 2009, titled "None Were with Him." I love listening to talks and I can usually pull something great from every one I hear. But this one was different. I truly think that this particular talk will forever change my life. 

As many of you know, I have been through quite a bit in my 30 years on this earth. But I'm not one to dwell for too long on any one experience. I believe that everything happens for a reason and when I look closely, I can see the blessings that come from even the strongest storms. I guess I am able to do this because I really do believe that I have a father in heaven who loves me unconditionally and he wants me to progress and become the absolute best version of myself. But I am a stubborn girl. Yup... I know, it's true. So sometimes in order for me to truly learn the lesson or change the course of my path, my Heavenly Father has to go to extremes. Like having me hit by a semi truck. It's true. There were things I wasn't doing the way I should have been. I wasn't enjoying motherhood the way I should have been. I was taking a lot for granted, not really realizing just how precious life really is. I was letting certain people and certain things take over my life. And even after the accident involving the semi truck, there were still things that were written all over my heart but I was struggling to make changes to accommodate certain beliefs or ways in which I wanted to live my life. But He is persistent and he certainly wasn't letting me off the hook. So fast forward to today, I have heard Him loud and clear. 

But now I am getting off topic...oops. 

Circle back around to the talk I listened to...

In this talk, Elder Holland speaks of the days leading up to Jesus' crucifixion and how completely and utterly alone he was. Every person he had in his circle had turned on him. He stood up in front of all those who had once been at his feet, and not a single person stepped forward. Jesus felt betrayal, heartbreak, devastation and pain of all forms. But he never lost sight of the plan his father had for him. And because of this, even in our loneliest days, we can still experience sadness, loss, pain and betrayal. But unlike Jesus, we can eventually be set free of all of these afflictions. And if we can't be set free, we are given the power to find the blessings and hopefully feel the love of our Savior even in the darkest of days. 

So, even on the days where life feels especially dark and gloomy, I have to remember that Jesus paid the ultimate price so that I don't have to live in that dark and gloomy place for long. And no matter how lonely I feel at times as a single mom, I know that the loneliness I feel is nothing compared to what He felt in those last days of his life. Feeling things that aren't so great is how we gain empathy too. I can't begin to help anyone through anything troubling if I have never felt a single bit of sadness over something that was troubling me. Everything that we feel can be used to bless someone else if we look for the opportunities. And that is such a big part of why we are given this time on earth. 

If you haven't heard this talk before, I encourage you to listen. And if you have heard it, listen again. The emotion that Elder Holland shows in this speech just makes it even more special. If we truly understand what was done for us by Jesus, and how much love was shown for us on that day by him and our Heavenly Father, I think we can agree that Elder Holland's tears are completely justified. We are loved unconditionally and completely and forever. No earthly, bad experience can ever be "that bad" as long as we always remember that love. 

With that being said, enjoy!

Xoxo

Jess